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North Portland Piglash!

North Portland Piglash!

My most popular post ever? It's a contender. It brought out a lot of critical comments, too.

My most popular post ever? It’s a contender. It brought out a lot of critical comments, too.

Who doesn’t love BBQ?
As many know, you don’t have to travel to Texas to satisfy your cravings; a trip up N. Williams is all it takes.

Is this my most ‘popular’ FaceBook post ever?
It’s on its way to 2,000 views.

Then the backlash struck; the “Piglash” I’m calling it.
All the petty and entitled comments, the rants and the implied threats.
Which didn’t bother me, but did my wife.
We reached out to FaceBook for help;
They removed the comment that shared my name, phone number and precise address
With it went the implied threat.

All over some smoked ribs.

What’s this all about?
I took 37 seconds video of The People’s Pig,
Last Saturday, on the way to a bike ride,
When I saw, with 3 smokers belching woodsmoke
In a neighborhood that’s changing rapidly.
New tenants will be arriving soon
They’ll suffer constant breathing maladies
Like asthma, shortness of breath, higher blood pressure.

It will be one, big nasty surprise,
This off the books, Move-In Special.


Many viewers offered perspective,

[blockquote size=”full|half|third|fourth|two-thirds|three-fourths” align=”right” byline=”Typical comment”]Didn’t you know? The People’s Pig was here first![/blockquote]

I feel like I’m arguing with a first-grader,

I heard all the trivial, well-worn rebuttals,
Extra venomous because they thought I was
Shilling for the developer.
And of course, the almost obligatory,
“To Hell with all Developers!”

People want their smoked pig.
And they’ll delude themselves to no end
To rationalize: the smokers must stay.

I’ve been taking stock,
Reflecting quite soberly,
It’ll be hard to pass a comprehensive clean air bill
Because wood burning is so beloved.

We need comprehensive air pollution reform,
Including diesel and industrial pollution, commercial and residential woodsmoke.

Diesel, no problem
Lots of folks can learn to understand,
Diesel’s a widespread toxic menace
Ruining health in every corner of the state
And other states have risen to the challenge
Role models exist
Diesel will be a straight forward campaign

Industrial pollution has few friends
The public will soon feel unanimously:
Business can’t send poisons up the chimney.

The original video almost escaped notice:

But woodsmoke, it will be the challenge,
No less worthy, it enthusiastically poisons us all,
But every smoked ribs aficionado,
Every wood-fired pizza lover,
All the Yuletide, standing by the fireside,
Every backyard fire pit fun-loving neighbor,
Every beach bonfire romanticist,
Will fight you tooth and nail.

It’s gonna take years of education,
Messaging to target the next generation,
To teach them of the health and economic consequences.

Soon the DEQ will share their
Preliminary Findings in a Draft Report
Of the Woodsmoke Workgroup meetings
Sharing recommendations from the group,
A better sausage-making report will never be found
It’s something well short of “Unprecedented.”

No one knows what to do,
How to change-out offending stoves?
How to weather-proof?
How to introduce cleaner fuels?
Where to find the money?

It’s cultural, not economic;
It’ll be like going to take their guns,
Says Oakridge Mayor Jim Coey.

Woodsmoke will be the most contentious part
Of any comprehensive clean air initiative
We’ll be Trumped by the simplicity of their first-grade taunts
Our adversaries will hope to sink the whole bill
Based on the popularity of wood burning
An ‘ideal’ counter strategy for our opponents,
Picture the videos they’ll craft to drive the point home.
In the short-term, Woodsmoke will be left behind,
Omitted from any comprehensive solution.


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